A little update

It has been quite a time since I last posted on this blog.

We have been doing school on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. On Saturdays W goes to Grandma's to have a Science lesson.

It has been working well this way and W seems a happier boy. Some days we will skip a subject (like Grammar or Reading) if W has been taking a long time to do the other subjects. We still do four hours at least on those days we do school, but sometimes it stretches out until the afternoon because W just looses focus so easily. He is barely five and I decided that is normal and I have been expecting too much of him. He is still on course and doing really well. Our boy is so smart and so far ahead that I decided we should just take it easy and relax for now until W gets use to the work.

We are still looking into the Thomas Jefferson style of Education. It seems like we might make a change in our style.

Making a change

When we first started homeschool I was weary about it being too much for W. He already has been doing Chinese with a tutor every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings for three hours. I always thought a child his age should be playing more than learning, but we decided to try.

I am surprised that he has been able to go for six weeks. On Wednesday, it was a really hard day. W was very upset because he wasn't focusing and we were getting frustrated with him. We kept trying to make him sit and do his school work. He just kept saying over and over again, "I am sad because you keep making me do school and I just want to play." This broke my heart! I kept thinking I needed to be consistent so I kept insisting he continue practicing his writing. Eventually I thought to myself that if he and I don't get some space between us, I'm going to turn into a mad woman. So I made him go outside and play. Of course, W just sat out there and cried while our sweet cat kept rubbing up against him and he would pet her. I was sitting there watching him, just trying to cool my jets. After about ten minutes I went outside and we talked for about an hour.

One thing that really stands out to me about our conversation was when I asked him, "Do you think Mommy is mean?"

He replied with a head nod. I then asked him, "Why do you think that? Talk to me."

He said, "I just want to play and you keep giving me negative points and making me do more work and it's just going to take longer until I can play."

That was it. I was being made out to be the bad guy when I didn't like the idea of him doing school AND Chinese in the first place. I wasn't going to be that anymore. I told him that on the days he does Chinese, we will not do school unless he wants to. I wrote out two scenarios for him, weekly schedules if you will, and had him circle which one he wanted to keep. He chose to do Chinese two days a week and homeschool three days a week.  We talked to Dad about it and Dad is going to talk to his Chinese tutor and see what she thinks. Dad is not thrilled about the idea of him doing less Chinese and I can understand that. But I personally just want whatever W wants. He has to learn school in a constructive way, but it has to be how he wants it to be (with our guidance).

W is only four, he will be five in about one week. He is not even due to go to Kindergarten until next school year. Kindergarten is a half day of school. If he does first grade cirriculum for the same amount of hours as a Kindergartener goes to school, for two years, then he's still be ahead of his peers. It's not like being ahead of his peers is what is important. I am simply stating that he will not be behind, and this will be easier on everyone.

Grandma desires to be enlisted as a teacher for Woodruff Hall. I think it will be fun for W to go to Grandma's on a Saturday every now and then for a special lesson. I'll probably take her up on it.

A new way to encourage good school-behavior + a thought that could pass as advice

Lately it has been difficult to get W to focus. I think the excitement of school has worn off for him already.

Yesterday, he kept asking for chocolate almond milk and I kept saying, "If you are good and can focus and answer my questions, then I will get you some." This wasn't working and he kept getting distracted by clicking pens, rocket-ship pencils and his school badge. I kept asking the same question, giving him the answer, then asking him the question again and getting, "Uuuuuuhhhhh.... I don't knoooowww." Ugh!! So I said, "Okay, that's a minus point!" An idea was born. I got out our little dry-erase board and wrote "Chocolate Almond Milk = 5 points", and I told him as I wrote, that if he can't focus and I have to keep repeating myself, or if he screams at me whenever I take away a distraction, he will get a Negative point. If he is good and focuses and answers my questions right away, even if it is a wrong answer, he gets Good points.

As you can see, this worked very well! As soon as he realized that I was giving him Negative points for negative behavior, he was back at work. He soon realize that he had to work twice as hard to make up for his not paying attention.

He asked for his milk at the beginning of the school day, he always does. He didn't "earn" it until right before his last subject. He really wanted that treat and he was going to earn it. I am hoping that this system will continue to work. It teaches the value of work and it teaches math skills. And if it works, then it will get him in the habit of taking school seriously.

One thought about homeschool. If you don't have a partner that supports you and communicates with you then it is just not going to work. You'll be sloppy and frustrated and your child will not learn anything. It is vital that your husband or wife is on the same page and supports the venture entirely. When you go with a route such as a Classical Education, the parents are the full-time teachers. You don't have a lady on the computer telling you what to learn and grading your papers. YOU are that person. It can be overwhelming when you have to do it all alone. You get frustrated with a non-compliant child and mounds of information to teach. Don't take it all on yourself as an individual. Have your husband or wife take on at least one subject and have them decide when they are going to teach it. Communicate with each other on when this allotted time frame is and keep it consistent. Consistency is the key to learning, if you ask me. Repetition and conditioning the brain to know that, "Hey, it's 5:00 pm and it's time to learn History!" Your child's brain will be in this mode and your child will expect nothing else. If you move it around all the time, your child might get frustrated, thinking, "Don't I usually have supper right now?" or "It is usually my time to play, I still want my time to play!" Consistency and strictness in consistency keeps the peace in a household. I'm not suggesting that everything be completely rigid and fine tuned. You should allow some flexibility and not be so uptight, that is the beauty of homeschool. But when I say that every child should learn at his own pace, I certain do not mean that you just wait for them to say, "I want to learn all about science now!" That's not likely to happen. You need to be the scheduler, and in those allotted time frames, they can go at their own pace. If they aren't finished with first grade math, by the end of first grade, that is okay. As long as you've spent that time every day, consistently, on it, your child has been learning. Eventually they will catch up. If your partner is not on the same page, it can be a disaster and your child will get very confused.

Patience

All my life I have been complimented for my ability to be patient. I still feel I have this great quality, but I feel like since I've had kids (and a husband, too), it has been tested harder. Since we've been officially home schooling these past few weeks, I have learned that I can really loose it.

Then I realized that the reason we are home schooling is because we want our children to be able to go at their own pace and learn in their own style. I don't have to go by a book and I can be as flexible as I want. Since realizing that, I have not let W's tendency to space out, or his difficulty in paying attention to what we are reading, bother me. I just take it slow and we are both a lot happier.

I remember when I was teaching W how to read. He was about 2 when he started showing interest in the word cards that I had. I would try to teach him the phonic sounds and he would remember many of them and try to sound out a word. Some of the sounds he did not get right away. I remember feeling a tinge frustrated at having to be so repetitive. But eventually he got it, it worked and W is a master reader now! Children will rarely get how to do things right away. Somehow I keep forgetting that. W has this incredible memory! I have seen it and am aware of it, everyone he meets know this about him. If he is spacing out, he's bored and I need to step it up a bit, or make it more exciting, or take it a little at a time. Even if I have to summarize things FOR him, so he can get how to do it, I know he will learn it and be really great at it.

Patience is the key and I need to bring that side out of me again. I have been doing it for the past 5 or 6 home school days and it's been working in our favor.

The Library

W got his first library card today. He even signed it himself. Look how cute his signature is!

I had him check out his books on his own (following my instructions of course). I am excited for W to learn what a valuable resource the library can be. We are going to try and make it there once a week. W has been so excited about having his own library card. He insisted on going to the store to find a wallet for him to put it in, so he will not loose it. Unfortunately we did not find one, but we will. The librarian told him that he needed to keep it in a safe place because if he lost it, he would have to pay $1 to replace it. He is taking this very seriously. I believe this will teach him some independence as well.

First week done.

I thought I would leave a note after the first week has ended.

What I learned this week:

1. I need to figure out a way to get W to love it when I read to him. I must have a super boring reading voice. I try to make it fun, but I guess I didn't inherit that quality from my mom.

2. I was spending way too much time on "Grammar". That is fixed for next week.

3. I must get a priesthood blessing. What was I thinking in NOT getting one. I need to be blessed with patience and understanding toward W.

4. W's best subjects right now are, Writing, Spelling, Grammar, and Math. He LOVES art!

5. I am fairly certain that I am getting the hang of it. Hopefully the trend continues.

6. We all love spending more time at home. Hopefully as we get use to things we will be able to get out to the library more. That did not happen today.

The first week is almost over

This is hard. I just want to say that any homeschooling critics out there who say, "Homeschoolers just keep their kids home because they aren't big enough to let their kids go," are SO ignorant! And I don't mean that in a rude way. Maybe some homeschoolers actually do homeschool for that reason. But for those of us who take it seriously, it is hard work! It has only been four days for me and I feel like it's been at least four weeks. I have thought many times in the last four days of what it would be like to send W off to school and let someone else do all the work. I would then get this break and get so much done around the house, (Saturdays are now my cleaning day, where I use to clean every day). Then I thought about how I would have to help him with homework. Homework that I did not decide he should be taught with. Homework that probably would not be up to his level and catered to him individually. Yep... then I knew that what I was doing was good. I know that we will all get use to it. Sometimes I think about adding more children to the mix and I get discouraged, but I tell myself, "One thing at a time, A."

W is such a good boy, and he does love to learn. But the subjects, Science and History, are not easy times for us. He gets so bored. Yesterday R took over History, and W was so much more engaged. R is so much better at that. I'm more of the boring dictator-type teacher that can teach from a work-book. Ha ha. Not really, I can be fun too. It will just take me a while to figure it out. I need to read W's cues. I need to research fun ways to teach a certain subject. But for now, I plan on roping R into teaching History on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.

It is Friday today. W is at his Chinese tutoring this morning. We do school after lunch at 1:00. Fridays are a more relaxed day where History and Science are not covered, but Art and Music are! Then we take a trip to the library. I am excited for school today.